SCHOOLS INTEGRATED PROJECT 026  

The Role of ICT as a Support To Learning  

Background

SIP Groups

Childrens Work

Our Favourite Jokes- Toomevara N.S.

Why did  Mickey  mouse get  shot ?

Because  Donald  Ducked.

By  Orlaith  Maher.

Did you hear about the Kerryman that burned himself.

He was ironing his trousers.

By Jamie Farquhar.

Where do bees live? 

Stinga pour

By Aislinn Shanahan

Portroe Jokes

 

 

What did the big chimney say to the small chinmey?

you're too small to be smoking.

by  Alison Coffey

Rearcross Jokes!

Why do Kerry dogs have  noses?

Because they chase parked cars.

 

Why did the milkman go to the graveyard?

Because them bones need calcium.

By Greg

What did the cow get when he graduated from college?

A  B.S . E.  

What do pigs use to write top-secret messages?

Invisible oink

How do you  make a swiss  roll?

Just push  it down  the hill.

How does a penguin  keep a secret?

Promise not  to tell a  sole.

By Tommy

Why did the  Skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop. 

By Niamh  Gleeson.

Why did the  Skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop. 

By Niamh  Gleeson.

knock  knock

who's there? 

homer, 

 homer  who?

Homer  Simpson

by   Richard  Travers

What happens if you run pass an elephant?

It will wash you off.

 by  Caroline Spencer               

If Chuckie was a cat, what kind would he be?

A scaredy cat.

by James Ryan.

 

 

Where  is the best place to weigh a whale?

In a whale-weigh station.

Doctor Doctor I think Im a dog.

Get up on the couch and tell me all about it.

But doctor Im not allowed on the furniture. 

By  Aoife  Murphy.

What did the traffic-light say to the other traffic-light?

  Don't look, I'm changing.

  By Roisin Donnellan

Why do the birds fly south for the winter?

Because it is  too far to walk.

What did the big chimney say to the litte chimney?

Youre too young to smoke.

By Emer O Brien.

Why did spike go to school?

He wanted to be the teacher's pet.

By Brian Molamphy

Why do rabbits have shiny noses?

 Because their powder puffs are at the other end.

By Niall

Knock Knock  Whos  there?

Dinner.

Dinner  who?

Dinner dinner dinner  dinner Batman.

By Alan Elderfield

 

Batman  and Robin got runover by a steamroller

Now  they are  called Flatman and Ribbon .

By Conor O Neill.

 

Why did   the chicken cross the road ?Because he wanted to get

His feathers back .

By Grainne O Neill.

 

Knock, knock,

Who's there?

Philis.

Philis  who?

Philis a glass of wine, I'm thirsty.

 by Triona  O Meara.

Why do cows have cows bells?

Because their horns don't work.

by Nicole Tiernan.

Knock, knock

who's there?

Boo, boo,  who boo.

What  are  you crying about?

by  Aine Hickey

Knock , Knock  who's there?

Free

Free who?

Free Willie.

by Ciara Mc Keogh  

 

 

How do you get a poor man into a car?

Throw in a tin of peas.

How do you get him out?

Run away with the tin opener.

 

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the disco?

He had no one to go with him.

By Louise

 

Knock   knock .    Whos      there?

William.

William who?

Williamind    your  own  business.

By Ashley Galvin.

 

 

 

 

 

Knock knock

Whos there?

Ivor.

Ivor who?

Ivor you open the door and let me in little pig or I will come down

The chimney.

By Sinead Mulcahy.

Why did Tommy crawl onto the hood of his Dad's car?

He heard that it needed a new windscreen diaper.

by Patrick Flynn.

 

Why did the big ladder say to the small ladder?

Your too young to be climbing.

by Barry O' Sullivan

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s  there? 

Barry,

Barry who?

Barry old man.

by  Colm Kennedy.

 

Ballinahinch Jokes!

 

  What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?

   You’re too young to be smoking.

 

Why did the doctor go to the doctor?

Be cause he wanted to see the doctor.

 

Why did the  chicken cross the road ?

To get to the other  side.

 

 

 

Why did the elephant go to the  zoo?

To see the  animals.

By Marie

 

 

 

 

 

Why did Spike the dog go to school?

Because he wanted to be the teachers pet.

By Aoife Sweeney.

 

 

 

 

 

Why did the girl take the pencil to bed?

     To draw the curtains. By Niamh

Why did the man walk to work ?

Because he had no van.

 

How did the chewing gum cross

the road?

He was stuck on the chickens  foot.

 

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Because he wanted to go to the other slide. By Sara

Ballina Jokes – First Class

What falls on water but does not get wet?

A shadow.

By John Spearman

Why did  the  boy  take  his   daddys car to school?

To   drive   the teacher up the wall.

By Tomas Mc Donnell.

 

Why did the skeleton not go to the disco?                

Because it had NO BODY to go with Why did the skeleton not go to the disco?                

Because it had NO BODY to go with.

By Kate

Knock Knock,

Who’s there?

Beth.

Beth who?

Beth you have never been eaten by a monster.

By Thomas Conroy

 

 

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had nobody to go with.

By Emily Maher

Why did the hen cross the road?

  To get to the other side.                                           

 

                                   

 Why did the hen pick the pot?

   Because she could not lick it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

By Roisin Quinn

 

 Why did the skeleton go   the   restaurant?

Because he wanted to get   some   spare ribs.

By  Lauren  Joslin.

What’s a vampire’s pet?

A blood hound.

What is the smallest county in Ireland?

Cork because cork is the only county that can fit in a bottle.

By James Ryan.

 

What  tiles  can you not   put on the wall?

Reptiles.

 

What  tar  can  you  not  put  on  the  road? 

Reptar.

BY      BRIAN  DELANEY

Why  do  bees  have   sticky   hair?

Because    they  use  honey    combs.

By  Liam Ryan.

What is  the last    thing    you take off before  you  get into bed at night?

 Your feet  off the  floor.

By Clara  Hogan.

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spooketti

By Vanessa O’Brien

 

 

Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?

Because he had no body to go with.

By Niamh Foley

 

 

 

What’s grey has two eyes and a trunk?

A mouse going on holidays.

Kevin Byrne

 

 

How do  you  get to  Lambs Cross ?

 Ask  your  maa .

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.

Rebecca Stark

 

Why did the nurse wake up the patient?

To give him a sleeping tablet.

John Floyd

 

Paddy the Irish man Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Englishman

 Were going to stay in a hotel. Paddy Scotsman could not get

To sleep so he came down for a glass of water .A ghost

Appeared and said I am the ghost with one black eye

Paddy Scotsman jumped out the window Next night

Paddy Englishman could not get to sleep so he came down to watch T.V. The ghost appeared and said ‘I am the ghost with one black eye’. Paddy Englishman jumped out the window. Next night, Paddy Irishman could not get to sleep so he came down for something to eat. The ghost appeared and said, “I am the ghost with one black eye”. Paddy Irishman Said “Shut up or I will give you another black eye.

By Fintan O’Grady.

 

 

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman went to the desert. They saw a genie. The genie said that they could have one thing.

Paddy Irishman said,’ I will have a  bear so he died of hunger Paddy English  man said I will have a cigarette so he  died of thirst.

Paddy S cots man said I will have the door of a car.

‘ Why that?’ said the genie. So when I am hot I can pull down the window,’said Paddy Scotsman.

By Eimear Kelly

 

Who Am I ?

Though She asks alot of questions

You can see that shes no fool

And if you want to know something 

She can tell you as a rule

But if shes all that clever 

Then why's she still at school?

The Teacher

              By Shane Ward

  The

One sandgrain in the desert said to another – I think we are being followed.

Frank Leaven

 

Why  is  six   afraid  of   seven?

 Because  seven  ate   nine!

Sean Seymour and Lindsay Bloice

 

Why did the newspaper cross the road ?

Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot

Brendan Pooley

 

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because there were no chickens then.

By Aisling o Riordan.